Aging as a Gift - Some considerations about aging

The thought that one day I’ll die strikes me a lot more now than 30 years ago.
Notwithstanding the determined efforts of all the intelligent longevity gurus out there, the mortality odds are my life is more than two-thirds over. At 66, I take those odds into consideration as I plan my days.

When I look at my life, I see three broad stages, each of course with its own subchapters:
- Youth – learning, maturing, ambition, comparison, insecurity
- Midlife – responsibility, pressure, anxiety, success, reputation, money, fear
- Old age – freedom, curiosity, perspective, the creative act of becoming oneself

I work hard at keeping healthy for longevity, but at this point in my life, it’s more about how to properly live than living a long time. Aging is a lot easier if we reframe it with a lens of opportunity for new growth rather than decline.

Aging as a gift
To have made it this far in life is a privilege, a gift. It’s not a penalty, nor is it a right.
A time for living on your own terms, perhaps for the first time ever.
For me, aging is a philosophical, intellectual triumph.

As we age, we need to learn how to let go.
This is especially hard for successful men.
After a stellar career or business, it’s hard to just downshift. What will my friends think?

A lot of guys will wait for their peers to go first. It’s not easy to let go of who we were.
What's next? It’s a difficult and scary question to ponder.
Holding on while letting go is a creative act.

I feel fortunate; I love this stage of my life.
I’ve never felt so free. Free of so many responsibilities, obligations.
I even ask myself, is it okay to be this free? Is it legal?
Am I breaking any rules by doing whatever I please?
But then I dismiss all that stupid guilt trip baggage.

Some considerations about aging
My thoughts on aging have been influenced by many creative people.
Rather than agonizing over the cold shoulder from our culture as we age, we can celebrate who we are, who we’ve become, deep down inside.
With age, it’s easier for the ego to recede, to be like a river that eventually flows into the sea.
By making our interests wider, growing older can be a broadening rather than narrowing of life.

In his essay, On Turning Eighty, Henry Miller talks about aging and living a meaningful life.
Because there were only 200 copies published of this 1972, 34-page chapbook, it’s expensive ($1,250). Supply and demand.
You might enjoy some of the quotes from On Turning Eighty written by Maria Popova of The Marginalian.

Here are some of Miller’s core ideas On Turning Eighty that I have synthesized from various sources:
- Mindset – celebrating the gift and joy of aging rather than lamenting.
- Freedom – free to do whatever, whenever, wherever one desires; no need to impress anyone anymore. Not take yourself or things too seriously. Free of ideologies.
- Liberating – from social approval, status, expectations, ambition, productivity; no need to prove anything again.
- Authenticity – living more honestly and creatively; pursuing whatever fascinates oneself.
- Perception – seeing that much of success, reputation, status, and so on were illusions.
- Playfulness – time for laughter, adventure, enjoyment with a childlike sense of wonder.
- Irreverence – recognizing how silly and absurd societal norms can be, no more guilt trips. And laughing at the realization that I saluted some of those norms once upon a time.
- Curiosity – sustaining vitality by learning, exploring, socializing, traveling; engaging with life.
- Serenity – less friction, fewer demands, peaceful, less fear; spending more time inside the mind, less time outside the mind. Solitude feels good.

Henry Miller
Henry Miller (1891 - 1980) was an American novelist, short story writer and essayist, developing a new type of semi-autobiographical writing.

It wasn’t until he was in his 70s that he became famous, mostly because his works were banned in the US on the grounds of obscenity. The publication of his Tropic of Cancer in the U.S. in 1961 led to a series of obscenity trials related to pornography, and in 1964 the U.S. Supreme Court declared the book a work of literature.

From On Turning Eighty, by Henry Miller:
“If you have your health, if you still enjoy a good walk, a good meal (with all the trimmings), if you can sleep without first taking a pill, if birds and flowers, mountains and sea still inspire you, you are a most fortunate individual and you should get down on your knees morning and night and thank the good Lord for his savin’ and keepin’ power… If you can fall in love again and again, if you can forgive your parents for the crime of bringing you into the world, if you are content to get nowhere, just take each day as it comes, if you can forgive as well as forget, if you can keep from growing sour, surly, bitter and cynical, man you’ve got it half licked.”

Miller emphasized daily creative work, physical movement, and connection with others.
He spent his final years in Big Sur, California.

Daily routine
My daily routine now is far different from my midlife stage routines. I’m more relaxed, chill. I love it.

It might sound crazy but often, after I go through some adjustment period (a change, a move, an injury, a realignment of thought), I track my time in a timesheet. It’s nuts but I like to know how I spend my time. It’s far more interesting to me than how I spend my money.

My days look like this:
- Mornings – wake up naturally with sunrise and birds chirping; coffee, small meal, then slow, quiet, creative mornings followed by movement, then a big lunch.
- Afternoon – short nap, coffee or green tea, read, write, think, eat some fruit and protein.
- Evening – more movement, connecting (friends, phone calls, emails, messages), a cocktail, small meal, read, write, listen to music. Bedtime is around 10:30 pm, when I’ve had enough.
- Movement twice a day - walking, swimming, gym, yoga, or out in nature.

Conclusion
Thankfully, in aging, we still have choices to make. We can drift like bumps on a log, or, like some guys I know, we can seek adventure and creativity – sail around the world, travel to new continents, create music, publish, engage with life.

I have friends from South Africa visiting this week so I just might be taking time off from writing for the fun of it.

My writing is done for the day. Now it’s time for a swim in the sea.

All the best,
Peter